Thursday, September 8, 2011


It was just one of those simple Facebook tasks, something I had done hundreds of times before. But this time, when adding my comment to a lengthy and serious discussion about who died first, Richard Nixon or his dog Checkers,* this time, as I typed in the friend's name, a drop-down box opened and Facebook tried to enter another slightly different name. Each time I deleted that name, Facebook would re-enter it.

The site seemed to be attempting to anticipate the friend's name before I typed it. Oh my God, Facebook was trying to read my mind! Finally, exponentially, those billions and billions of Facebook algorhythms had achieved the ultimate state of consciousness- human sentience.

My mind quickly flashed on the film, 2001, A Space Odyssey. Hal the devious FB computer has just taken over the space ship. "Now Denis, you don't really want to type Donna Rensfield, do you. You really want to type Donald Rumsfeld, don't you."

In this version of the film, I am Commander David Bowman trying desperately to shut down Facebook Hal before it eats my lunch and empties my bank account. Over and over I keep mumbling, "Sing "Daisy, Daisy," dammit!"

* Richard Nixon passed away April 22, 1994. His beloved Cocker Spaniel Checkers preceded him in death by 30 years.